Why: 56 reasons (see earlier posts)
This is the long-awaited response to the question: “Will you
be in Panama next year?” Granted, people in this community tend to ask this
question regularly and repeatedly since a month into school starting. Mentally,
they’re calculating: How much will this teacher invest in this community? And
unconsciously asking: How much should I invest in him/her?
With this weekly barrage of questions, I began to contemplate
my response long before our letters of intent were actually due. I began my
planning early, saying I wanted to fulfill my 2 year contract for sure. And it would
be a gift and privilege if I could stay at least 3 years to see my original
class of 6th graders through their 8th grade graduation.
To be honest, my first year here was tough, wrought with
transitions and learning experiences. I transitioned to living in a new
country, working in a new school and living/teaching community and learned to
juggle 4 classes with the role of being middle school coordinator with only 1
year of classroom teaching under my belt. It was one of those—world shaking,
run it out, and pray each morning—sort of years. The kind of year you just want
to step away from, just to breathe and get perspective.
Still, I had learned a valuable experience from my Honduras
days and knew that these “breathers,” friend time, exercise and flute playing
(a.k.a. stress relief), and not staying at school past 5pm everyday were
essential to my well-being as a person and a teacher. So I readily went on the
Pilliod family adventures in Lil Mule (their truck), joined others in cherished
day trips to the beach, and went out for dinner with other teachers on weekend
nights. I joined Jimmy’s intense workout class after school (at least when I
didn’t have parent-coordinator meetings), and I regularly scheduled coffee
dates with good friends to contemplate, discuss and help me sort out life
decisions.
A huge shift happened my first year during second semester as
God miraculously provided a car and reminded me that He is truly in charge of
all of the details! Additionally, one of the other teachers graciously agreed
to take over my 7th grade Earth Science class, which lightened my
workload considerably and gave me the chance to focus on teaching social
studies, which has become my passion.
Around January 2013, I committed to being more intentional
with my time, and God laid it on my heart to make the theme of “digging deeper”
a reality in the CCA middle school. I started “Roots,” a Monday lunchtime bible
study only open to middle schoolers. I provided free dessert as an incentive
and left the results up to God.
Five students showed up that first Monday, and we started
reading through the gospels together, examining how Jesus lived. God knew I
needed that encouragement, and this Roots study group, along with joining Danae
in teaching the K5 Sunday school class at church became highlights of the week
for me.
Near the end of the 4th quarter, I started
attending the church youth group, called Crossfire. All Esther could do was
rave about the students, and she was dead on. I was even more encouraged by
seeing those faithful MS and HSers “giving up” their Wednesday nights to
worship God. That spiritual devotion is what I prayed for multiple times while
walking the middle school hallways during planning periods, and, here at
Crossfire, I was seeing just a glimpse of this transformation in students
lives. So cool! Not only that, but the worship and sermon were like that
refreshing drink in the desert that I had been longing for my first year—a
chance to be poured into as well as pour out.
During the farewell night planned to thank their youth pastor,
TJ, for his work in Crossfire (but really to glorify God for His work in
Panama), I heard student after student share about how God had used Crossfire
and the leaders to mold their hearts and teach them more about Christ and
living for Him. As we took a tearful group shot, I resolved that I wanted to
“be there” for these students. I wanted to be a part of this amazing
discipleship process and watch them become mature Christians. Becoming a small
group leader in Crossfire was the next step.
1) I
stepped down from the coordinator role, and now just teach which I absolutely
love. I may have my Masters and the look of authority (or maybe just a big
mouth), but I’ve had my taste of administration and I’ll say give me a
classroom any day!
Providentially,
the P.E. teacher/coach took on this role, which has been an incredible blessing
to both of us. He, not only has many years of teaching, has developed a solid
repertoire with the students and parents, and has been at the school 5+ years,
but also he is in the last year of his administrative credential program. The
timing couldn’t have been more perfect!
2) The
car, fondly nicknamed “U-ey”
I’ve had
the chance to explore the city and several provinces of Panama, as well as
bless many people who’ve needed rides. I’m thankful for other teachers who help
me navigate the unexpected one-way streets and help us somehow arrive at our
destination. Every time I put the key in the ignition of the car, I remember
how God provides exactly what we need when we need it. He knows what’s ahead
and what I can handle, so I can trust Him.
3) I
teach 5 classes this year, but it’s still less work than last year. So I find I
have MORE time to spare. This had led to several chances to invest in the
community here as well as “be there” for the students/families of the school:
-church
orchestra
-teaching
K5 Sunday school
-taking
each of my small group girls to coffee
-Jimmy’s
workout session every T and Th and running with friends
-hosting
friends and visitors and playing “tour guide”
-my family getting to visit over Christmas!
-leading
small groups for Crossfire youth group, Roots--the lunchtime bible study
continues (there are 15+ students now!), and a chapel small group (based on the
book: The Me I Want to Be, by John
Ortberg)
-babysitting
for neighbors
-going on
more day trip and weekend adventures
-more
time to relax, share laughable moments, and be present with people
Currently,
I’m mentoring a student teacher in my 6th-7th English
classes, so that’s been a refreshing change as well as an interesting shift in
perspective. (Almost like free professional development. J)
Beyond my
3rd year, I do not know how long I will “be here” in Panama, at CCA,
but I do know that I want my time to count. I want my relationships to be
meaningful, and the students to know deep down that I care. I want to continue
to discover adventure and learn some more Spanish along the way. I want to
learn more about God, His hand in History and in our lives, and I hope that, in
seeing this bigger picture, both my students and I will leave changed.
In the
words of one of my heroines, Henrietta Mears, “I know not the way He leads me, but well do I know my Guide.”
I would
love your prayers!!
Prayer requests for the end of the
year/next year. We only have 9 weeks of school left in the quarter!:
·
Two teachers here and close friends of mine,
Mami and Danae, are going to serve in Guinea, West Africa, teaching missionary
kids so the parents can translate the Bible and share the gospel with an
unreached people group. There have been many obstacles in their way. One being
the crazy Ebola virus that is spreading throughout Guinea and two being support
raising. If you are at all compelled to give support to God’s work in reaching
the Johango people of Guinea, click the link here. Select designated fund and in the notes write: "Mami Hashizaki and Danae Gillespie."
- The new teachers who are coming (all the preparations that come with making the transition) and the ones who are leaving
- The 5th graders who are moving up to middle school in the fall
- Discernment in how to be intentional and “there” for people in this community next year
- Safety in driving/navigating the city and that U-ey holds out for the rest of the time I’m supposed to be in Panama
- Mas oportunidades para practicar y aprender el espanol
How can I be praying for you? Send me a message
via facebook or email: ldiaz@ccapanama.org
God bless,
Laura
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