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This blog chronicles my adventures since my junior year of college to..everywhere. Primarily it consists of life experiences and God stories in Honduras, Costa Rica, and Panama. Enjoy and God bless!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Struggling with Surrender: Crossfire Retreat 2013


Just one of many favorite conversations during the weekend:

I noticed one middle school boy lingering by the cross after the Saturday night “surrender” service. The students had split up into his small groups, but yet he had stayed behind. This student and I have had multiple conversations about life and God this year, and he is one of my faithful Roots Bible Study members.

I came and knelt across from him, the cross on the floor lying between us. “What’s up?” I asked him, eying the slip of paper he was holding. The paper was still attached with a nail to the cross.

“I’m thinking of taking it off.” He said, as he twisted the paper around the nail.

“Why?” I inquired.

“I’m not ready to surrender this. I just feel like I’m not good enough, like I’ve not been following God and I don’t think He’ll take it.” He gazed mournfully down at the cross. “I mean, what if He won’t forgive me?”

I processed his words and prayed for the wisdom to answer with God’s truth.

“First of all, he will forgive you, and it’s okay if you’re not ready to surrender it. Leave it here as a reminder to you that you want to surrender, as a first step in giving it to God. Everyday, you will probably face the same sin/temptation, and you will have to make a conscious choice again to surrender it to God and follow Him instead.

Second of all, you’re right. You’re not good enough; in fact, none of us are. That’s why Jesus had to die on the cross, because there is no way we ourselves could earn our way to Heaven; it is only through Jesus that we can have forgiveness for our sins and He can cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That is His promise to us. That if we go to Him, He will forgive us, no matter what. Then we can have a right relationship with Him.”

“But I’m always making the wrong choices..” The student was still dwelling on his sin.

“And God forgives you and will help you obey Him. Think about Jonah. God called him to go preach to the wicked city of Nineveh, but instead of going, Jonah takes the first ship out of Joppa (the complete opposite direction) and tried to run away. Of course, God knew all along and sent a storm to turn the ship around. The ship’s crew threw Jonah overboard, but God, in his mercy, spared disobedient Jonah’s life by providing a huge fish to swallow him. Jonah spent 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of the fish, and cried out to God for rescue. His heart was changed, and he praised God for saving Him from the bottom of the ocean. God still had a plan for Jonah and had the fish vomit him onto dry land.

So then Jonah finally goes to Nineveh. He preaches like God told him to, and surprisingly, the Ninevites repent and turn back to following God first. But instead of being overjoyed for them, he throws this big temper tantrum in front of the Lord, saying that his compassion for them was undeserved. God has to teach him a major lesson about attitude and circumstance.

Jonah literally ran away from God, then threw a hissy-fit when things didn’t go the way he wanted. Yet, God still used him to reach a people group that needed to hear about God’s truth and good plan for their lives. Jesus even compares himself to Jonah in Matthew 12, in that he was in the belly of the fish for 3 days and Jesus would be in the tomb for three days, before his resurrection.”

This middle school boy and I talked a little while longer about what he was wrestling with and his feelings of loneliness, and as I struggled with how to respond to this boy’s heavy heart, God filled my mind with scripture verses to share with him and assure him. God keeps His promises, and sharing these truths ministered to my soul as well, as I reflected on the specific instances when God rescued me or taught me similar lessons about His constant presence and peace.

Like Jonah, we pray:

“In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry…Salvation comes from the Lord.” (Jonah 2:1,9)

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