Bedtime Stories

On Sunday night (after the Crossfire Retreat), I babysat for a family in the church. As I was tucking their 6 year old boy into bed, he asked if I'd tell him a story. 

I began, "This story is a true story; something that really happened."

He could read my mind, "Is it a Bible story?"

"Wait..how did you know?" 

He grinned at me and said, "Because all Bible stories are true!"

This made me smile, the refreshing, solid faith of a little child.

He then asked me, "Who is God?"
Wow..my cookie cutter Sunday School answers wouldn't cut it on this one. How do you sum up who God is to a 6 year old?

"Well," I tried to recall scriptures about God, "God is love and God is perfect and God is Creator. God is three persons: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit."

He proceed to ask me question after question about the different persons of God and why Jesus had to die. He had a rich Bible understanding, at only the age of six, and could retell the key Bible stories in detail in the larger gospel story. Thankfully, God gave me the wisdom to respond to his questions, but I have to share that this experience was so powerful:

1) because I was touched by the honest and deep questions of this little boy and how much he wanted to know about God and was eager to know Him more.

My favorite line of his was after I talked about God the Son, Jesus. He said, "I wish I could see Jesus. When can I see him?" He was excited to meet Jesus, in fact yearning for the day when he would see him face to face. Now I see what Jesus meant when he advised us to have faith like little children and maybe even their excitement about Heaven too!

2) because this is my prayer for my students (Crossfire and at CCA); that they would know the Bible is the source of truth and authority on everything and that it is God's love letter to them, an unfolding story (now extending into their lives) of how God pursues us, no matter how much we turn away, and a story of redemption and undeserved grace.

3) because when you communicate Biblical truth to kids, you have to simplify things in a way that they understand and this stretches your own faith. Telling about God's work (through the Bible) is one of my favorite things to do, and I was so blessed to share this sweet twenty minutes time at this boy's bedside talking about Jesus.

Let's never forget to invest in our children and teach them in the Scriptures:

Mark 10:13-16

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.  When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."  And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

Struggling with Surrender: Crossfire Retreat 2013

Just one of many favorite conversations during the weekend:

I noticed one middle school boy lingering by the cross after the Saturday night “surrender” service. The students had split up into his small groups, but yet he had stayed behind. This student and I have had multiple conversations about life and God this year, and he is one of my faithful Roots Bible Study members.

I came and knelt across from him, the cross on the floor lying between us. “What’s up?” I asked him, eying the slip of paper he was holding. The paper was still attached with a nail to the cross.

“I’m thinking of taking it off.” He said, as he twisted the paper around the nail.

“Why?” I inquired.

“I’m not ready to surrender this. I just feel like I’m not good enough, like I’ve not been following God and I don’t think He’ll take it.” He gazed mournfully down at the cross. “I mean, what if He won’t forgive me?”

I processed his words and prayed for the wisdom to answer with God’s truth.

“First of all, he will forgive you, and it’s okay if you’re not ready to surrender it. Leave it here as a reminder to you that you want to surrender, as a first step in giving it to God. Everyday, you will probably face the same sin/temptation, and you will have to make a conscious choice again to surrender it to God and follow Him instead.

Second of all, you’re right. You’re not good enough; in fact, none of us are. That’s why Jesus had to die on the cross, because there is no way we ourselves could earn our way to Heaven; it is only through Jesus that we can have forgiveness for our sins and He can cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That is His promise to us. That if we go to Him, He will forgive us, no matter what. Then we can have a right relationship with Him.”

“But I’m always making the wrong choices..” The student was still dwelling on his sin.

“And God forgives you and will help you obey Him. Think about Jonah. God called him to go preach to the wicked city of Nineveh, but instead of going, Jonah takes the first ship out of Joppa (the complete opposite direction) and tried to run away. Of course, God knew all along and sent a storm to turn the ship around. The ship’s crew threw Jonah overboard, but God, in his mercy, spared disobedient Jonah’s life by providing a huge fish to swallow him. Jonah spent 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of the fish, and cried out to God for rescue. His heart was changed, and he praised God for saving Him from the bottom of the ocean. God still had a plan for Jonah and had the fish vomit him onto dry land.

So then Jonah finally goes to Nineveh. He preaches like God told him to, and surprisingly, the Ninevites repent and turn back to following God first. But instead of being overjoyed for them, he throws this big temper tantrum in front of the Lord, saying that his compassion for them was undeserved. God has to teach him a major lesson about attitude and circumstance.

Jonah literally ran away from God, then threw a hissy-fit when things didn’t go the way he wanted. Yet, God still used him to reach a people group that needed to hear about God’s truth and good plan for their lives. Jesus even compares himself to Jonah in Matthew 12, in that he was in the belly of the fish for 3 days and Jesus would be in the tomb for three days, before his resurrection.”

This middle school boy and I talked a little while longer about what he was wrestling with and his feelings of loneliness, and as I struggled with how to respond to this boy’s heavy heart, God filled my mind with scripture verses to share with him and assure him. God keeps His promises, and sharing these truths ministered to my soul as well, as I reflected on the specific instances when God rescued me or taught me similar lessons about His constant presence and peace.

Like Jonah, we pray:

“In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry…Salvation comes from the Lord.” (Jonah 2:1,9)

Student/Leader Testimonies: Crossfire Retreat 2013

Praise #2: God spoke through the speakers and people giving their testimony, and this opened up conversations with the students about this theme and what it means to their life.

*Esther: Esther (H.S. math teacher at CCA and dear friend of mine) came to me super nervous about what she would say on Friday night. She was only told on Thursday that she would be the one giving the wrap-up talk/challenge after the gospel was shared at the retreat. The Lord has gifted her incredibly with an ability to communicate truths from Scripture to a middle school/high school audience, and she did a phenomenal job letting Him speak through her.

She challenged the students to examine their lives and think about why they were at retreat that weekend. Were they at the point of crossroads with making a decision to follow Jesus? Were they following Him, yet wrestling with big God questions? Or were they there to enjoy “walking in the cool of the Garden” with God and grow deeper in understanding His love and purpose for their lives?

This talk really set the stage for the entire weekend, as well as delivered the most powerful message of all: “He (Jesus) was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isa. 53:5)

*Danae: Within the past month, God has been confirming His call on Danae (H.S. English teacher at CCA and my upstairs neighbor/running buddy/accountability partner) to spend next year in Guinea (Africa) with Mami teaching missionary kids. Panama has been a place of spiritual renewal for her, of understanding what God’s love means and looks like through His people, and yet, why would God remove her from this place and send her somewhere far outside her comfort zone? There is a song we’ve been singing in worship during Crossfire that sums up pretty well why:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior” (Oceans by Hillsong United)

Danae shared how God wants our WHOLE SELVES. This is not to say that once we find joy and peace that He removes us from that situation, but yet, God teaches us and lays different burdens on our heart as we get closer to Him.

He stretches us to trust Him, whether it is like Abraham who left his family, his people, and his country to obey God, or it is like Ruth who surrendered identity and security (“your people will be my people and your God will be my god” Ruth 1:16), or like Peter, who, while fearful, climbed out of the boat and walked on top of the waves toward Jesus (Matthew 14:22-23). Her talk was a challenge to students and leaders alike.

*Student #1: One of the worship band members, an incredibly talented guitar player and gorgeous singer, shared about a vulnerable part of her life and how she’s surrendering it to Christ. Having struggled with an eating disorder throughout middle school, she now finds assurance and worth in knowing Christ.

*Student #2: One of the sophomore guys who is known mainly for being able to free style rap at the drop of a hat shared openly and honestly about having Tourrete Syndrome. It took a lot of guts to get up there and share in front of his peers, especially as he talked about how these impulses have affected his friendships, his daily life and even made school a huge struggle. He shared how he wasn’t sure how God was using this experience; although, I’m pretty sure that simply sharing his story was a big step in allowing God to redeem this struggle in his life and a powerful witness to other MS/HS guys of looking to God when we don’t understand the circumstances in our lives.

*Seniors #3-4:

After the weekend, a senior girl and guy each shared in church about the impact the retreat made on their lives and what God was teaching them in particular. For the senior guy, it’s been a year-long journey of surrendering to God his future, as he college plans and is unsure about what career path to take. This retreat came at the perfect time for him.

For the senior girl, what resonated the most with her was the symbolism of literally nailing our sins (written on a slip of paper) to the cross. Saturday night, Pastor Bob Gunn (a long time Bible translator and missionary/pastor in Panama) shared stories from his life of how he had to surrender to God in the little and big decisions. He then gave the challenge to the students to surrender their own sins/struggle areas of their life to Jesus, the only one who can forgive and redeem and restore us to a right relationship with Him.

God had been working in students’ hearts during the weekend, and middle and high school students rushed to the stage. Kneeling by the wooden cross, they scrawled their sin/area of life they wanted to surrender to Jesus on a square of white paper. Then, they selected a nail and a hammer and began the work of nailing this piece of paper into the cross. I watched as student after student sat by the cross and committed this act of surrender and prayed for God to continue to work powerfully in their lives. I had the sweet privilege of praying with a few middle school girls afterward who surrendered some pretty tough stuff, like future plans and family life and anger and attitude. Some students returned to the cross multiple times, as God spoke to their hearts and said, “Well, what about that area of your life? Will you give that to me, too?”

In church, the senior girl explained how the sound of the hammers pounding away was convicting, because it made her reflect on how Jesus took the punishment of death that we deserved and all of our sin upon Him when he suffered an agonizing death on the cross.

What a fresh perspective to view the experience through the eyes of a student! To those listening to her testimony or those present at the retreat, I’m sure we will never take communion or look upon a cross in the same way. The cross will always serve as a reminder of just how much He loves us.

His love is:

Higher, Wider, Deeper

Crossfire Retreat Praise #1: Logistics

Prayer is powerful and effective, because we serve an all-knowing and sovereign God who loves us and is intimately involved in our lives. Thank you for those who prayed for these students and this retreat!

Praise #1: God worked out all the details with logistics and transportation. One hundred students/leaders was the perfect number as far as the number of available car seats we had to transport people to community outreach locations around the city. On Saturday morning, the group split up to put their faith in action, surrendering themselves, and showing God’s love in a practical way and headed out to 12 different places in Panama City.

The groups visited: orphanages, nursing homes/homes for the elderly, non-profit organizations, and some even helped clean at the church/school. For some students, this was one of the first times that they were able to engage in service-oriented outreach or interact with people/kids from such different socio-economic backgrounds from them. My group went and wrapped 100 Christmas presents for kids in the Darien province, and it was powerful to talk together and pray for those kids while we were wrapping specially-donated toys and clothes.

Crossfire Retreat 2013: Surrender

Kneeling at the foot of the cross, I grasped the hammer tightly in my hand and drove the nail into the thick plywood. I am Yours, Lord. Yes-I give you all of me. I surrender.

“Surrender” has been a common and repeated lesson in my walk with God; from the Luke 22:42 challenge as I sat in the Garden of Gethsemane (2005), to my family’s move to California, to the difficult season of graduate school and realizing that I am not meant to do this alone, to Honduras and Panama and the ups and downs of my first 2 years teaching overseas, including the many times I’ve cried out to Jesus, because He is all I really have, my only hope, the only One with answers, and the only One who promises peace.

This weekend, I joined together with 100 students/leaders from the Crossfire youth group in a 3 day “retreat” to dig deeper into the theme of Surrender. Leading up the retreat, the leaders and I experienced this theme as our original plan/vision for the weekend fell through.

This was one way that we had to hold this weekend retreat lightly; with open palms facing Heaven, we prayed and looked to the Lord for wisdom and direction and for His purpose for the retreat to be fulfilled. Glory be to God, because not only did He reveal Himself in powerful ways to these students, but He did mighty work in their hearts that I believe will last for eternity.

Prayer is powerful and effective, because we serve an all-knowing and sovereign God who loves us and is intimately involved in our lives. Thank you for those who prayed for these students and this retreat!

Continue to next blog posts for:

-Praise Report 

-Student/Leader Testimonies

-Story: Struggling with Surrender

The Filing Cabinet

This video was shown at Crossfire, the church youthgroup, last night and I'm still dwelling on its message today. Surrender. Forgiveness. Freedom. Grace. Living new. The message of moralism is "You need to" or "you should" The message of Christianity is "you must, but you can't" Only Jesus can.

Wide Eyed: Chapel, 9/18

Wide Eyed: Chapel, 9/18

Students entered the sanctuary noisily as quiet music played in the background. Chapel was starting, and it did not seem like anyone was in the mindset to be there.

Our Spiritual Life Coordinator and beloved Bible teacher went up to the stage first to settle the students, remind them of proper chapel etiquette, and share a little bit more about what the Christian pledges meant. Then, to everyone’s surprise, another teacher got up from her seat and strolled up to the stage as well. “I also have something to say about the pledges..” This teacher wanted to train students in pausing at the right times in the pledges, so that we could say the pledges in unison, as they were meant to be delivered. Granted, it was good practice for the students to, but this was the chapel service that I had planned out minute for minute, and I had packed the service full without pauses. This was not on the schedule!

I began to shift nervously in my chair as I watched the minutes tick by. I knew I had a tight program planned with a video, songs, sharing, and even special music, and I wondered if I should run over and tell the worship band to cut one of the songs.

As I was contemplating this, God brought to mind one of the passages from John 14:27 that I had been reading and praying through last night. I turned my worry into intense prayer: Please let this ALL work out.

The pledges continued, followed by the Panamanian National Anthem (4 stanzas with the chorus 2x), and student announcements of all the birthdays of students in middle school and high school, basketball game times, etc.

The “Light Shines” video came on directly after the announcements, just as planned, and I breathed a sigh of relief, seeing this crucial piece of technology work without a flaw. I looked around and saw even the most talkative students mesmerized by the cadence of the narrator’s words.

The video ends on a very passionate note, and the PLAN was to have the worship band start right afterward, taking that enthusiasm and transferring it to standing and praising the God of the Universe, whose light still shines.

In actuality, the lead guitarist/vocalist’s guitar amp stopped working and, taking their cues from this guitarist, the rest of the band was unsure of if they should play or wait for the soundboard guys to figure out the problem and solve it. I gave them a cue-don’t worry, just play!

The band started off, unsure and just a little bit off from each other, having been thrown off their game with the technological malfunction. People must have been thinking, “Oh no, Lord help them.” Well, whoever prayed (whether if they were in the sanctuary or somewhere else in the world) made the difference, because just a few minutes in, the musicians found their place and the beautiful harmonies and well-known choruses returned. The songs in order were: Everlasting God, YouAre My All In All (which also happens to be my favorite worship song AND they sang some of it in Spanish which made it even more powerful), and Our God.

The worship band did an incredible job leading the secondary group, and a large group of students even started clapping during the last song! A visible testimony of God at work.

I was up next. During the worship time, I rehearsed in my head what words I would say and reminded myself that this whole chapel was God’s idea in the first place. So A) If God promises He will work, He will work no matter what. His words will never return void. (Isaiah 55:11) and B) God gets all the credit and the glory and so in the end it won’t be how good of a speaker I am or what I choose to share, but what God wants to say personally to each and every student who came to chapel today. I especially relished in the promise of the last worship song, “Our God is Greater, Our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power. Our God.” Our God is here.

The last notes of the guitar reverberated, and I climbed up on stage to grab the cordless mic. I smiled and faced the students, ready to share my carefully crafted introduction of the chapel theme. But my voice only reached the first 2 rows. The microphone wasn’t working!

Used to the impromptu days as a teacher, I adapted to the situation and just projected my voice so everyone could hear. This was fine for me, but I knew my soon to come up student speakers spoke just a little bit more timidly and would need to use the microphone. I held the microphone closer to my mouth as I welcomed my student speakers to the stage. I prayed with urgency in my heart, “Please help this mic to work, Lord. I don’t want them to miss out on hearing these student’s stories.” But the mic’s sound only went in and out.

The three speakers, representing 11^th, 7^th, and 6^th grades, came forward and sat in the chairs next to me. I’m not sure if they could tell anything had gone wrong with the sound. I passed the mic to the 11^th grader to kick off the testimonies time. Prayers were answered a second time, as the microphone worked the entire time all three students shared. Praise the Lord! Not only could the students hear, but they were interested. I noticed a good handful of 6^th-11^th graders that were visibly leaning forward in their seats, captivated by these unique God stories.

To begin, the Junior shared that God was the only reason why he was standing in front of the school at that moment. First, the Junior had to be standing. Second, he had to be in Panama and, last, he had to be at CCA. This captured the attention of all the students in the room. What do you mean you couldn’t stand? That’s so basic. But The Junior went on to elaborate on his three points. Because when he was a baby, he had to have surgery, and doctors weren’t sure if he would ever walk. Because of God’s infinite grace, this Junior is walking, jumping and even running without any problems today. The Junior went on to explain how God had brought his family to Panama in an unexpected way and even to Crossroads Christian Academy, out of all the schools in Panama. What an incredible testimony about God’s sovereign plan in our lives.

Next, the 7^th grader, shared his story. It takes a lot of guts (tuvo muchas agallas) to stand in front of a whole sanctuary full of people, especially if the audience is made up of your peers, and especially if you happen to be in middle school. Yet, this 7^th grader stood confidently, firm in his identity in Christ, and spoke clearly about three specific instances where God literally saved his life. Perfect examples of everyday occurrences where we can recognize God at work!

And last, but not least, came the shortest student of them all, the 6^th grader. The 6^th grader came to me before chapel and confessed his deepest fears, “I don’t know if I can do this, Miss Diaz.” I knew his story was powerful, and it needed to be shared. I reassured him, “God is with you. He will help you.”

The 6^th grader’s moment had come. He stood to his feet, gripping the microphone and staring out at this group of students who were waiting expectantly for his story. He took a deep breath and began:

“A few years ago, my mom got really sick. We found out she had terminal cancer. She had to get treatment and she lost her hair and it didn’t help. The doctor told us she would only live for 6 more months.”

The 6^th grader paused, remembering the moment, and his eyes got wet. Students looked at each other and then back at this 11 year old, trying to imagine the pain this news must have brought his little heart.

He continued, “We were all upset and prayed and prayed for God to save her and God was with us. God allowed her to live a whole year longer than the doctors said. She got to write about everything on a blog and share about how God answered prayer with lots of people.”

Listening to his story I knew what was coming next, and I passed the 6^th grader the tissue box. He refused, blinked a couple of times and carried on through the hardest part of the story.

“She died in 2011 and it was really hard without her. But she was a Christian and she taught me to keep having faith and trusting God in all things. So we’ve been trying to do that. This year, we moved to Panama and sometimes it’s hard but I’ve learned that in everything I can trust God.”

He lowered the mic and a teary-eyed audience gave him the loudest ovation I think that sanctuary has ever seen. After the applause died down, there was a somber stillness in the room, and I hated to break it. I gave the 6^th grader a thumbs-up and a side-squeeze, while I tried to hold it together. The fact that an 11 year old could stand up in front of a crowd and share honestly about his life and extract some profound spiritual truths from a world-shattering experience just floored me. It made me reflect again on my day-to-day teaching ministry with these Middle Schoolers. God is working so powerfully in their lives and teaching them truths they will stand upon their whole lives. How often do we ask them for their stories?

We could have ended chapel right then and there, contemplating God’s faithfulness and sovereign plan. I wrapped up briefly by sharing about the power of prayer, the power of recognizing God’s powerful work in your life, and the power of sharing your OWN God-story.

The worship band closed with a beautiful rendition of “WideEyed” (Nichole Nordeman), a contemplative song about God showing up in unexpected places. And a High School Senior prayed before dismissing the students to their classes.

Just thirty seconds later, the bell rang for the end of chapel.

I imagine that if Jesus had been standing next to me, he would have surveyed the room and smiled, satisfied with His work. Then he would notice the surprised expression on my face and nudge me jokingly with his elbow, “Why did you worry? You know, I always have perfect timing.”

**************************************************

The afterthoughts:

 

Three lessons I’ve taken away from this experience:

1) There is power in obedience (what went from a crazy-middle-of-the-night God-inspired thought transformed into an amazingly powerful chapel time).

2) God is sovereign. So stop worrying. No really stop and give it to Him.

3) God can use ANYONE. Even a four-feet tall 6^th grader.

4) There is power in sharing God-stories.

Go share yours.

Also I learned today that the 6th graders' parents (both mom and dad) picked out CCA as their school of choice around 5 years ago, but CCA didn't have room at the time. Now, the dad gets to honor the mom's wishes and send the 6th grader to CCA and, not only that, but now this 6th grader is standing up in front of chapel sharing about what God has done in his life and really its a celebration of how God brought him here.