From the Mouths of Babes

..otherwise known as my students in 4-B

Question and answer time with my dad (Lou):

Student: So..do you own the church?
Lou: No..there's a council, a board of people, the congregation..
(Student stares back with a confused expression.)
Lou: Uh, yes..Yes, I own the church.
Student: Cool!

S.S. Review Session

Me: What did the Mayans trade?
Student: Chocolate!
Me: Anything else?
Student: Chocolate bars!

Show and Tell from my mom (Shirley)
Shirley: We brought the ocean back from Tela. (proceeds to show bottle full of sand and bottled ocean: oil,water, blue food coloring mixture)
Student: But where are all the fish?

Trying to joke with my students:

Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: Nothing.
Me: So you lie down in bed and didn't breathe and didn't move.
Student: Yes.
Me: Well then it's a miracle you're back at school today!
Student: Whhat?
Me: Nevermind.

Me: Hey, weren't you wearing that shirt the day after yesterday?
Student: No. (gets defensive) I wear a different color shirt yesterday.
Me: Think about it. The day after yesterday.
Student: Ohhhh..wait.
Student 2: (shouts) The day after yesterday is today!

Using the Word of the Day (warning: unedited student sentences)

Permission:
"Miss, you permission me the bathroom?"
"You borrow me permission?"

Barter:
"Barter me a pencil"
"I need to barter a marker."

But I admit my own slip-ups learning a language:

Context:
During recorder class, I was explaining to the students that their fingers needed to cover the holes in order to play the notes.

Me: "Cubra.....estos" (pointing to holes) --translation: "Cover....these"
Student: Las hoyos? ("Holes?")
Me: Si, hoyos.
We spent the majority of the lesson laughing at the Spanish words I made up to try to get the point across.

And don't get me started about the adventure of trying to give a radio taxi directions to my house.

Taxi driver: "Que es el numero?"
Me: "Pienso que 8, pero mi casa no tiene un numero. En tope de pequeña montaña"
(I think it's 8, but my house doesn't have a number. It's at the top of the small mountain.")
Taxi driver: "El numero?"
Me: (repeats what I just said and tries to give a further description of location)
Taxi driver: "Su numero.." (switches to very slow English) "Your num-ber of tel-e-phone "
Me: Oh..lo siento! Yo entiendo ahora.. (Oh, I'm sorry. I understand now..)
(Taxi driver's probable thoughts: Crazy American.)

Useful Spanish words to know and remember because of their frequency and/or misuse:

colina = hill
para subir = to climb
esquina = corner
Llámeme cuando usted llega= Call me when you arrive.
Espera aqui. = Wait here.
No va esa manera. = Don't go that way.
molestar = to bother/annoy (do NOT be confused by the false cognate)
tumulo = speed bump
seguro = safe
disfrutar = to enjoy

*Confianza en el señor = Trust in the Lord.*